December 6, 2008: Crossing the Finish Line

End of Treatments

Crossing the Finish Line
 
One of my Doctors
This past Thursday, I finished my last day of treatment. The night before I kept checking my calendar making sure I got the date right.   I didn’t want it to be like the time I thought it was Friday at work, only to find out at the end of the day it was only Thursday. (It was a rough week.) 
 
In this case, it’s been a rough 6 months. But there I was, ready to cross the finish line.
Radiation was time consuming, taking up 3 hours of my day, every Monday through Friday for the past few months. Actually, it was 35 treatments plus 6 radiation boosts at the end. The treatment itself was only a few minutes long. It was the prep and the drive that took the longest. 
 
The ride, however, was made bearable only because I shared it with 14 other cancer patients. We all knew about surgery, chemo and rads. We shared the same concerns about our treatments and we all had radiation as the last part to cross on our way back to being healthy.
 
My Radiology Team
Saying goodbye to my radiation therapists was bittersweet. I was glad it was all over, but yet I wasn’t going to see these people again, and this made me sad. They helped cure me. 
 
Leaving my support group behind was also hard for me. As soon as I came out of the doctor’s office I was met by a round of applause from the waiting room patients. It really was like crossing that finish line. I could hear, “You did it! You did!” Most of them, I didn’t even know. But all of them knew how tough this journey was.   I did it.
Me and Deb, this journey brought us closer as friends

Well, after treatment I went to meet my dear old friends to watch the Chargers beat the Raiders. I hadn’t been to the old spot since I started chemo and it was very nice seeing everybody. It was like coming home and celebrating a victory. Actually…it was coming home….and it is a huge victory. My doctor actually showed up and a few drinks with us.

These friends were by my side from the beginning

Tonight will be a huge celebration for me.   I will be celebrating my birthday (belated) and my end of treatments.    This is really going to be a great night for me, I am so thankful for my friends and grateful for being done with everything.  I am thankful that I am here to share my story of survival.

Cheers to me

September 10, 2008: New Wig

Back to Work with a Smile

My cousin Grace told me that she was able to go to work the whole time she was on chemo.  I’m a single mom, my son is in college and I really didn’t have a choice but to try to work through all of this.  I was working as a bartender on the weekends.  Everyone was very helpful and whenever I needed a break, there was always someone there to help.  But now school is starting and I needed to be there for the kids every day.
First of all, the PTA helped me buy an awesome wig.  I couldn’t believe how expensive they were!  Mine cost $170.00!  It was the best!  No one at work really noticed.  They called it my new “sassy” hairstyle.  I’m going to do this.  I’ll put on my smile and make this happen.  No one will even know!!

September 7, 2008: Second Round of Chemo

The last round of chemo kicked my ass.  And it was only my second one!  Damn.  I thought I was a warrior.  I thought I was gonna stand up to this thing, put up my dukes and beat the shit out of it.  Ha!  Guess I’m not as tough as I thought.
 
First of all, I had to go back to the doctor the day after chemo and for two days after that, to get shots to boost my white blood cells.  So, that along with the chemo, took it’s toll on this little body of mine.  The doctor keeps checking my kidneys and is concerned about the creatinine level being so high.  I keep getting bone pains, rashes, insomnia, fatigue, dizzy spells, loss of appetite, my nails are turning purple……oh yeah…loss of my beautiful hair….waaahh… Damn you!  I hate you cancer!
 
I just want to feel normal again.  I want to feel strong.  But now I worry what’s gonna happen next?  My next round is tomorrow!!!!  And I just started feeling better yesterday!  Damn.  I know this is the hard part and I’m gonna be a survivor, but…..this is really hard. Now I got to look forward to 5 hours of poison in my veins….. I would never, ever want any of my friends or family to have to experience this chemo shit.  It’s really, really hard.
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I hate you cancer